Tuesday, July 5, 2011

How Soon Is Too Soon?


How soon is too soon to sleep with a new beau?

Ready Betty

Dear Betty, 

This is one of those things that is pure preference really. A lot of people say the third date, I disagree with these people. I think each relationship should be felt out, and you should use your own judgment in deciding this. 

Too soon? I would say within the first two weeks of knowing them. In the first two weeks you learn a lot about a person. And if you sleep with them before you get a chance to get some of the skeletons out of the closet, then you could (and probably will) find out something that you don’t like about them and end up regretting it. 

Sex is a very personal thing. It is a connection two people share between one another that they don’t share with anyone else. It’s like sharing your deepest darkest secret with someone, trust is vital. And if you don’t really know that person too well, then you could be giving a real douche bag some very personal information about you.

Now if you are worried about being perceived as a tramp, that is another thing. Girls are way more quick to judge then guys are, but from a guys point of view, if you have been going on dates and hanging out with your beau for more than like 3 weeks the thought won’t even cross our minds. When a guy calls a girl a tramp it is usually just a way to demean her and has nothing to do with her sex life (unless she is the slut that cheated on her boyfriend with the whole football team). The men who do this are the same men that treat you like crap in public and will always break your heart.

My advice to you is to wait. Wait like a month (a month and a half if you can make it) before you give it up. It’s true, a guy thinks about sex a lot, especially if you know how to work the seductive charm. But I can honestly say, there is nothing I love more then when a girl makes me wait. Not only will he respect you more, but when it happens, the sex will be ten times better. Not only will you guys have had ample time to get to know one another, giving the sex the intimacy and closeness that always makes it better. But in the period of time he spent waiting, you kept him in suspense. And when he can finally get to express this too you, it will be a night both of you will remember.  The relationship will be stronger for having waited as well. Studies show that couples that start having sex right out of the gate have significantly less of a chance then when they wait a bit. 

But like I said everyone is different and a relationship shouldn’t be formulized. Use your judgment, only give it up when he earns and deserves that trust from you. Never before.

The Dick

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