Look Me In The Eyes And Say That

Dear Dick,

It seems like every time I meet a guy, I catch him staring at my chest. It makes me feel uncomfortable when I'm trying to talk to a guy and he can't look me in the eye for more than 5 seconds! What can I do?
                Sign- Self-Conscious Courtney

Courtney,

There is no way to avoid this. When a man meets a woman, he subconsciously looks at her pelvis and her chest. First to identify the gender of the person he is staring at, and then again to determine attraction. This is commonly misread as gawking because men lack the peripheral vision that women have, so we get caught. Women do this too, but their peripheral vision allows them to do so subtly.

The average length of eye contact held in a conversation in America is three to four seconds. People then glance away, often at the mouth of the person talking. This too can be misread as traveling eyes. Longer eye contact is reserved for intimate encounters and conversations, with lengths of up to 5 to seven seconds of eye contact. This intimate gazing is often accompanied with glancing at the woman's body. It's not that we don't find you interesting. On the contrary, we find you so interesting we are trying to familiarize ourselves with your body. A lot of the times we don't even notice we are doing it.

Now let’s say you meet a guy who is blatantly staring at the goods. Not glancing or sneaking a peak, but full on, having the conversation with your chest. First off, this is probably an indicator that this guy is a bit of a tool. If he can't control his eyes while talking, there are probably more things he has trouble controlling. But, if you like him and want it to work, try grabbing his chin, and tilting his head up to yours. While making eye contact, simply tell him that your eyes are up here. Flash him a big toothy smile to let him know he was caught and that you forgive him. Then Continue on with the conversation. If that doesn't work, it just really isn't worth it. Best pack up now before he meets your sister...

Sign- The Dick

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